A big thank you to the millions who have filled in my questionnaire, the results are summarised below.
Thanks again.


The person to be honoured with the title of "First to fill in the questionnaire" is Tanja Puustelli. She doesn't have a sense of humour, and unfortunately, doesn't know any jokes. She quite likes my site, and thinks it should be improved by adding more pictures. (As for the pic of me, well I'll see what I can do, but don't hold your breath.) She asks, "Was it difficult to stunt the scene where Travolta got shot?" Not really, it's just another trick of the trade!


Steven Stanley says that my page is the best. He says he's an intelligent bloke, with mashed potato for a brain. He knows 5.3 jokes, such as, "Two men walk into a pub, and completely redecorate it and it looked really nice." He says my site is the best ever! and that the Northern bit is the best, with "funnee" translations. Unfortunately, he's forgotten what he wanted to ask me. Oh well, after his joke, I'm sure it's no great loss. Cheers Steve!


Next up, is a female by the name of Wizardess. She's intelligent and has a brain made up of cells. (Doh! what did I think it could be?) She knows too many dumb jokes such as, "Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Cuz he was dead." She thinks my site is OK and could be improved by "blue zigzagging lines or something."


Thanks also to Tanya Jones for her feedback. She thinks the meaning of life is 33 to the power of 5. Hmmm, not looked at it that way before! Her joke is "At school, they asked me what I thought of sex before marriage. I replied Pessimistic" She doesn't think my site is very good (Oooh, Blasphemy!) and she suggest the following improvements "Lots of Lee and Herring, and a guest appearance by me." Tanya, you want the moon on a stick!


Jo Wittams has a brain full of junk. She isn't Geoffrey from Rainbow, and hasn't got a joke, because it's Sunday. (Not looking promising!) At least she rates herself as intelligent, and she quite likes my site. Her idea for improvement is a link to the Lee and Herring interview on the addicted site. Fair do's, but where is it? She asks "How are you today?" Very well thanks. Cheers Jo!


Lee Cooper (or Da Coopster as he calls himself!) thinks the meaning of life is "Sex, beer and taking the piss out of old college buddies." Yes, you're right, you blond, poncy, short, old tosser! :-)
He also thinks my site is bobbins! His suggestions for improvement include "Only joking. It's really COOL!" His joke is "Richard Young. Ha ha" Coops, I thank you! He asks "How many pints of beer can Finny drink before he starts to chat up a tree?" Good question Coops! The answer is 2 cans of lager, which is about 1.75 pints! (See I know everything!!!)


Spud will laugh at anything, and he's very old! He knows hundreds of jokes, such as "Why does it take 10 psychiatrists to change a lightbulb? Because the light bulb has really got to want to change." He says he's stupid, but at least he rates my site as the best. He asks, "How did I assemble this questionnaire?" Well, me' old Spudster, it's because I know HTML, and looking at the state of your Gemsoft home page, you don't!
I'm looking forward to speaking to you tonight, so I can rip the piss out of it, even more! Cheers Steve!


Ta to Rachel Pidoux for manually writing out her answers! Good of ya'! She's an amoeba, and a total nutter. (Can't fault ya'!) Her joke is "Did you hear the one about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse" The site is apparently bobbins. and can be improved by making it more like hers, with a FOF link, and a guestbook. (Working on the guestbook, if enough people want one!)She asks "Did you see Rod Hull and Emu on Scratchy and Co?" 'Fraid not, I'm in bed when Scratchy and Co is on. (Quite often after a night on the piss.) Ta once again!


Aimie is a mad intelligent female, who thinks the meaning of life is "Eating so much chocolate that you want to rip your stomach from your body and getting so rat arsed (Can't fault you - Rich) that you chase some poor hedger round a party all night insisting that you are a witch then pissing in a field" Well it beats 42! Her joke is "How many druids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in stone circles!" Ha ha. She also says my site is the best, and can be improved by a Stewart Lee shrine, complete with nude piccies. Aimie, I didn't know he'd done any! (Or are they little known, and therefore an ideal blackmail tool?!)


Richard S is a teenage male who will laugh at anything. He's intelligent and is Geoffrey in disguise! The meaning of life is "It's all one big joke" Talking of jokes, Rich knows 0 jokes, with that digit being an attempt at one. He thinks I'm alright and quite likes my site. To improve it he suggests "Put lots of links to my site. And continually mention my site ... Basically turn it into a big ad for my site. How's that Rich? He asks "Can I have your grant?" You most certainly can! (If you go and track down my landlord and rob him that is!)



Yes, it is ace!!!