Yes! It's a list of funny jokes. If you know any good jokes, you
can send them to me, via the questionnaire.
Did you hear about the dyslexic raver?
He got off his face on F!
A man goes to his doctor for his yearly checkup. The doctor instructs him to
give a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample. "Gee, I'm in kind of
a hurry Doc," the man says, "can I just leave a pair of my underwear?"
"You should be ashamed," the father told his son, "When Abraham Lincoln was
your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school." "Really?" the
kid said. "Well when he was your age, he was president."
Q: What's grosser than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
A: Pulling it off.
Q: What's the definition of confusion?
A: 200 blind lesbians at a fish market.
Three men are doing a round the world balloon trip. But they forgot the the map.
After a few days, they start to wonder where they are. So the first man sticks
his arm over the side of the balloon and says "We are over Paris!" The others
ask him how he knows, so he replies, "I can feel the Eiffel Tower". A few days
pass, and they again wonder where they are. The second man says "I'll put my arm
over the side, see what I can feel." So he does. A minute later he says "Ah,
we're over New York. I can feel the Statue Of Liberty." Again, days pass,
and they wonder how far they've got. The third man says "I'll give this a go."
He sticks his arm over the side of the balloon. A minute later he says "We're
over Liverpool." The others ask him how he knows. "Because," he replies,
"Someone's just nicked my watch."
A lawyer, doctor and priest were on an airplane over the ocean. The plane
went down and the only survivors were those three. They started swimming
towards an island when sharks appeared. SNAP!!! The doctor was eaten.
SNAP!!! The priest was eaten. The lawyer made it to the island, and was
later picked up and returned to port. The press asked him why the sharks
ate the other two and not him. He replied, "Professional courtesy."
Q: Why do tampons have strings?
A: So that the crabs can go bungee jumping.
Ever notice that when the doorbell rings, the dog's the first one to the
door, but it's never for him?
Q: How do you tell an Irish ladder from a normal one?
A: Irish ladders have "STOP" stenciled at the top.
If American ships bear the intials 'USS', standing for "United States Ship,"
and if a British ship's name starts with 'HMS', for "Her Majesty's Ship,"
what does the Italian designation 'DMB' stand for?
(Answer: "Datsa my boat")
Q: How do yuo make a woman bind?
A: Put her behind a windscreen. (Thanks Tony!)
Ha ha ha ha he he he he hooo hooo hooo hooo . . .